


Little Talks

by Palebluedot



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Angst, Canon Era, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Gabrielle POV, Gabrielle does the bard thing, I had it in my head that it's set sometime during, Season/Series 01, Xena does the tortured past thing, but I suppose it doesn't really matter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 21:03:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5020453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palebluedot/pseuds/Palebluedot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been three days, and Xena still won't talk about it. Fortunately for them both, Gabrielle can't seem to stop bringing it up.</p><p>Prompt: Gabrielle's frustration with Xena's stubborn obtuseness about thinking she's too young and innocent for an ex-evil warlord? Gabrielle maneuvering Xena in creative ways?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Talks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skybone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skybone/gifts).



> skybone - I hope this is something like what you had in mind! These two are my everything, I was thrilled for an excuse to write them. Thanks for taking part in this challenge, I had a blast!

It's been three days, and she still won't talk about it.

Xena's not the most proactive of conversation partners under the most agreeable circumstances, but now that she's _trying_ to be difficult, it's a different beast entirely. Not only is she dead silent, she's taken to shooting off down the path like an arrow fired from Apollo's bow, and Gabrielle caught on quickly that no amount of pleading would make her slow her pace. If Gabrielle wasn't so out of breath from trying to keep up with her, she'd be able to spin a nice bit of prose – _the mighty warrior must surely have been godborn, for she whisked the leaves from the trees as she passed_ _with_ _the swiftness of her stride_ _, and no mortal could_ _hope to_ _outpace_ _her_ _._ It's enough to make her wonder why Xena doesn't just hop on Argo's back, give her a good kick in the sides, strand Gabrielle in the road and be done with it.

Of course, Gabrielle knows why. And Xena knows why. And Xena knows Gabrielle knows she knows why. So if she could just get her to _talk_ about it -

“Hey!” Gabrielle pushes herself to a heavy jog, focusing on huffing out each breath, and pointedly ignoring the stitch in her side. When she gets close enough, she reaches out and catches Xena's shoulder under her palm. Xena jerks away from her like her fingers are covered in thorns, and presses on. “ _Hey!_ ”

“ _What?_ ” snaps Xena, staring straight ahead.

“We need,” Gabrielle wheezes, “to talk.”

Xena gives a stiff shrug. “So talk.”

...It's too easy. Gabrielle doesn't trust it, but she reaches for it anyway. “The other night, by the fire - ”

“ _Gabrielle."_  

“You told me to talk!”

“Not about _that_.”

It's all Gabrielle can do to abstain from literally throwing up her hands in frustration. Talking is easy, talking is what she _does_ , but she can't work with this complete and total shutdown any more than she can fry fish without a pan. And Xena _knows_ that, she _must._ This is deliberate sabotage, and Gabrielle is running out of ideas – but she might yet have one more trick up her sleeve. "Can we talk about something else, then?”

Xena quirks her brow, but doesn't quite meet Gabrielle's eye. “...Like what?”

“You know, one of the nice things about having traveled together for so long is that we have some nice memories together. Maybe we could talk about them instead?” Gabrielle forces her cheeks to bend into a winning smile, despite her legs stiffening up and threatening to crumble into very sore dust.

Xena says nothing. But after spending so much time around her, Gabrielle's learned to interpret Xena's many-shaded silences, and this one, while flirting with anger, isn't warning her to fall silent herself. Gabrielle takes it as a good omen, and speaks.

“Right. I'll go first. Remember that time you fought Draco? While balancing on my neighbors' heads?”

Xena still says nothing. Gabrielle clears her throat.

“What about the time I accidentally freed those Titans? _That_ was an adventure. I couldn't believe they really thought I was a goddess! I could've sworn _they_ were gods when I first saw them.”

It might be Gabrielle's imagination, but she thinks Xena might crack the barest hint of a smile.

“Ooh! And what about that time we met a princess who looked just like you? And you had to parade around in one of her dresses!”

Now Gabrielle _knows_ Xena smiles. “Diana.”

“Right,” Gabrielle says, smiling back. She swallows once, hard. “Remember that time you kissed me?”

Xena stops dead in her tracks and spins around to face Gabrielle, all traces of a smile gone. “ _I_ didn't kiss _any_ _body_.”

Well, at least she's admitting it _happened_. Sort of. “You met me halfway,” Gabrielle says, crossing her arms over her chest and looking Xena in the eye. “Tell me I'm wrong about that.”

Xena opens her mouth like she might do just that, but stops. “...I pulled away,” she settles on after a moment, turns away, and starts walking. Gabrielle reaches out and catches her by the wrist, just a touch. She stops.

“But not before kissing me back.” Gabrielle knows she's not deluding herself there, she can still feel the phantom push and caress of it against her lips, the paths Xena's fingers traced through her hair. She's been kissed before, even liked it, but her skin tingling with the memory of a half-finished kiss three full days after the fact...that's something new. Something worth chasing.

Xena whirls back around, shakes Gabrielle's hand off again, and if Gabrielle didn't know her so well, her expression might frighten her. “What do you want me to say? That I enjoyed it? That part of me wants it to happen again? None of that matters, because it _can't_ happen again, don't you understand that?”

There's a lot Gabrielle could say to that, a thousand gossamer questions floating within arm's reach in front of her, like _How can that not matter?_ and _What are you afraid of?_ But Gabrielle's so _relieved_ that Xena hasn't been avoiding her because she's disgusted by her, so _happy_ that maybe, just maybe, there's a _chance_ that all she manages is a soft blush of a smile and "...So you enjoyed it?”

When Xena throws up her hands and storms off down the path, Gabrielle reads the whip-tight tension in the air and the force grinding Xena's heels into the dirt with every step, and knows she's probably pushed her far enough for one day. She follows a few paces behind Xena, partly to give her some space, and partly because she doesn't want her to see the skip to her step. She knows she should feel bad about being so uppity when Xena's this upset, but everything feels so hopeful, she can't help it. _I got her talking_ , she thinks, and feels her grin flow all the way down to her toes.

~+~+~+~+~+~ 

The next day, they reach the village of Eresos, where they've got a bit of a warlord problem. It's about as routine as their lives get, fighting the army off – Xena standing tall, a marble statue mixed with sinew and muscle and fire, two strong hands wrapped around the hilt of her sword that strikes like lightning as she roars like thunder, and Gabrielle standing by her side, occasionally having to remind herself to focus on the task at hand, and not the woman next to her. The staff sometimes feels a little strange in her hands while she fights, like she's gone lopsided, but more and more now, she's becoming accustomed to the rhythm of it, the predictable choreography of a basic disarming and takedown. _Duck, swing, duck again,_ _land a smack on_ _the knees,_ _one more hit to knock him out,_ _move on._ A few short months ago, she never would've imagined she could find violence to be an everyday chore, even in self defense, or the defense of others. Then again, a few months ago, she was betrothed. Things change with the seasons. Gabrielle's learning to move with them.

When the fight is won and the village is safe and the two of them are tucked away in a small, snug room ( _Free of charge for_ _the heroes of the town_ , the innkeeper had said), it's quiet, the muffled celebrations below dying down as, one by one, people return home to the ones they love. And maybe it's the post-battle high, or maybe it's the fact that it's been four days now, or maybe it's the itching in her tongue and her heart that makes Gabrielle so desperate to shatter that quiet. She rolls over on her side, sees Xena's back to her on the bed across the room, blanket shucked down to her waist, the way she always has it. She's too far away to touch, but that doesn't stop Gabrielle from saying “Hey. Are you asleep?”

“Yes,” deadpans Xena, the edges of her voice rubbed off by the pillow and the warm, drowsy air.

“It was a good fight today.”

“Mmm.”

“We really helped some people." 

“Mmhm.”

“So what did you mean yesterday when you said it couldn't happen again?”

Xena curses into her pillow, and draws the blanket up past her neck. “Go to _sleep_ , Gabrielle.”

“Is it because you think you're too old for me?” Gabrielle asks, pushing words out of her mouth at top speed to make sure she gets them out before she loses her nerve. “Because really, you're not that much older than I am, if you consider the grand scheme of things. My friend Penelope's parents promised her to a man thirty seasons her senior. _Thirty_. If I hadn't gotten engaged to Perdicas or run off with you, that could've been me.” 

“You didn't run off _with_ me. You ran off _after_ me,” Xena says, and Gabrielle smiles, because she may have a point.

“Well, I'm with you now. I'd like to stay with you forever,” she says, and when did her voice get so small?

There's a long moment where Gabrielle wonders if she hasn't dreamed this whole thing before Xena answers her. “You don't know what you're talking about.”

Gabrielle shifts around and props herself up on one elbow to face Xena. It's a little pointless, maybe, with Xena's back still to her, but she does it anyway. “Yes, I do. I'm not _that_ inexperienced when it comes to love. I mean, I guess I've only been with men. Well, I haven't ever actually _been_ with a man, but I was betrothed...once,” she trails off, very aware of the hot flush rising in her cheeks. “Anyway, the point is, I know enough to know what I feel. Why can't you accept that?”

Xena kicks the blanket off her bed entirely as she scrambles into a sitting position, flashing eyes boring through Gabrielle in the dark. “Because I've ruined you enough as it is! It's bad enough that I've taken you from your home, your family, put you in danger day in and day out, and now there's – _this_.”

“But I like _this._ I like _this_ a _lot_.”

“Only because you don't understand what it could mean for you,” Xena sighs, exasperated, and Gabrielle's blood sears the tracks of her veins.

“I'm not a child!” Gabrielle bites out, glaringly aware of the fact that she could not have possibly said anything more childish. “And unlike _someone_ I could mention, I'm not afraid of what I want just because I don't think I deserve it.”

That went too far. Gabrielle knows it even before Xena gets up and tears out of the room, slamming the door behind her so hard it snaps off its hinges and clatters to the floor. _We'll probably_ _need_ _to pay for that_ , Gabrielle thinks. Then she bursts into tears. She hates that Xena still thinks of her as something that needs looking after, and she hates that she couldn't keep her mouth shut, and she hates that they're fighting over something that shouldn't bring anything but bliss.

It's the first time Gabrielle's slept in a bed in near a month, but that night she tosses and turns more than she ever has in her life. When Xena sneaks back into the room about an hour before dawn, Gabrielle pretends she doesn't see.

~+~+~+~+~+~

They leave the inn at daybreak, Xena leaving a few dinars on the bedside table, and Gabrielle not mentioning it. Xena doesn't say a word to Gabrielle as she packs Argo's saddlebags and sets off down the path. Gabrielle doesn't know where they're going, and isn't sure Xena does either, but doesn't bring it up. She needs to concentrate.

The only time Gabrielle is quiet, really quiet, is while she writes. Sometimes, of course, she pipes up to see how a bit of prose feels on her tongue, or thinks aloud when hammering out how to approach a plot point, but sometimes, she lets it all play out inside her head before it ever touches the air. She can't lock the words that blossom up from nothingness safely to a scroll and walk at the same time, so she has to focus on the patterns they make inside her head, repeat them in silence over and over until they're committed to memory.

It's a misty morning they step out into. Gabrielle hopes it dries out enough for a good fire by nightfall. 

~+~+~+~+~+~

“Hey,” Gabrielle says, dropping an armful of kindling next to the circle of stones Xena's pulled together. “I miss you.”

Xena looks up from where she's crouched on the ground, laying out her bedroll. “Yeah. Me, too.”

Gabrielle sits down next to her, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “I wrote a story today.”

“About Eresos?” Xena asks, fishing her flint out of her pack and setting to work coaxing the firewood to catch a spark. 

“Not quite. I tried something a little different this time. Can I run it by you?”

“I'd like that,” Xena says with a soft look that makes the bottom drop out of Gabrielle's heart. “What's it about?”

Gabrielle scootches a little closer, resists the urge to lay her head on Xena's shoulder. “It's about a mighty warrior, who travels the world doing good deeds, and fighting the forces of evil.”

Xena raises a playful eyebrow. “Anyone I know?” 

“Maybe,” Gabrielle smiles, coy. “She travels with a kind, intelligent, _wonderfully_ charming bard with hair as golden as the sun – ” 

“So it's fiction.” 

Gabrielle swats Xena on the arm. Xena grins and nudges her shoulder, sending a cascade of butterflies fluttering around Gabrielle's stomach. “Who's telling the story here, you or me?”

“Alright, alright – go on, what happens next?” Xena says, returning her eye to the firewood and the flint.

“Well, when the warrior and the bard first met, the warrior saved the bard's life. She leapt out of the woods like the very deliverer of justice and vanquished the evil men who held the bard captive, when she never had to show her face at all. She was the most beautiful thing the bard had ever seen.” Out of the corner of her eye, Gabrielle sees Xena snap her head up and turn towards her, but Gabrielle doesn't meet her gaze. She doesn't want to lose her nerve.

“The bard knew from that moment that she wanted to walk by the warrior's side, but the warrior turned her away. She was too young, the warrior said, too innocent for a hard life on the long road. Besides, there were whispers around the village of terrible sins the warrior had committed in her past, and may yet commit again. After all, “warrior” isn't so far off from “warlord”. But the bard knew that if the warrior were truly evil, she never would have saved the life of a girl she had never met. So she made her own choice, and followed her.”

Xena turns back to the fire, where she's just gotten the tiniest lick of flame to peek out from the kindling. “Sounds to me like the bard didn't think that through too well.”

“Maybe she didn't,” says Gabrielle with a nod. “But it turned out to be the best decision of her life. They roamed the land as an unstoppable team, saving innocent lives and fighting back the dark wherever they walked, and the bard learned more about the world, and about herself, than she could ever have hoped to learn in the little village where she was born. And, of course, she and the warrior grew closer day by day, and eventually became the best of friends. The bard didn't miss her family, because the warrior became her family, and she trusted her with her life.” 

Xena blows a little on the nascent fire. It flickers and grows. “...Even though the warrior had all that blood on her hands?”

“Of _course_ ,” says Gabrielle, laying her hand over Xena's. Xena flinches a little under her touch, but doesn't pull away. “The bard knew without a doubt the warrior had changed. You see, she could never love somebody whose heart was cold.” She gives Xena's hand a squeeze, and finds it warm. “And the bard did love the warrior. More than she knew it was possible to love another soul.”

Xena doesn't say anything. Just squeezes Gabrielle's hand back.

Gabrielle presses on. “It wasn't always perfect, though. Once, the bard and the warrior got into a big, stupid fight. The warrior shut the bard out, and the bard pushed the warrior too hard into something she might not have been ready for.” Gabrielle swallows hard, and tries to ignore the tightness in her throat, the pricking in her eyes. “It was awful, like a blizzard had torn up the first day of spring, and all the bard really wanted was her best friend back, in whatever way she was prepared to – _mm_ _f_!”

Xena's lips feel just like Gabrielle remembers – warm and firm and gentle, just a little clumsy on the first touch, and more than a little perfect. Gabrielle leans into Xena's hand where it's threaded through her hair, and cups Xena's cheek, running her thumb along her jawline. She threads their fingers together where their other hands are still joined below. Noses bump, and Gabrielle's heart thrills as Xena traces the seam of her mouth with the tip of her tongue. She lets her lips part, and sinks into the push and pull of lips and tongues that she's been dreaming about repeating for five long days.

When she can't suppress the need for a proper breath any longer, Gabrielle leans forward, touching their foreheads together and breaking the kiss. She smiles for a full, bursting moment because she's not sure she remembers how to do anything else, and smiles all the more to see Xena smiling, too, eyes shining like the stars that have just begun to peer through the veil of darkness overhead.

“I don't remember writing that,” Gabrielle says with a breathless grin.

“Call it a creative collaboration, then.” Xena brushes a lock of hair out of Gabrielle's face with her thumb. “How do you think the rest should go?”

“I'll show you,” whispers Gabrielle against her lips, leaning in as Xena pulls her close, the firelight dancing over them both.

**Author's Note:**

> Turns out that's my first published femslash - guess I'm kind of a terrible lesbian, oops! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> By the way, I chose Eresos as my throwaway village name carefully - it's a city on the Isle of Lesbos, and it's where the poet Sappho was born. It seemed fitting for ancient Greek femslash.
> 
> ...aaaand I realized that about an eternity after publishing this, I forgot to mention that the title comes from the Of Monsters and Men song by the same name. Um, oops?


End file.
